Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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