I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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