All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
