and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
