I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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