i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
