I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize