he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
