Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
