The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
