You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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