somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
