Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize