You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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