What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
