Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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