Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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