Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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