talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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