so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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