Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
