i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
