you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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