spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
