I just made out with a guy for $7.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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