my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
