This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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