I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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