Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
