They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
