Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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