I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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