im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
