Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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