We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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