I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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