My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
