i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
