Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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