dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
