Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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