i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When are your genitals available?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
