Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
