I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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