apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
