Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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