i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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