Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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