The maid of honor just puked.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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