this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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