Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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