you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
