I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
