I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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