This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
