Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
