Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize