He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize