So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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