She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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