I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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