Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Drake has all the answers
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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