Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
