I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize