so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
