I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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