I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
