he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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