Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Randomize