the day after is always just damage control
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
