i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You need a sexual gate keeper
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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