is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Randomize
