I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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