i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
