You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
