I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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